I'd blog more, but I don't know what to write. It's not that I don't have anything to write, it's just that my thoughts are almost perpetually in a big jumble. I could think of one thing for a few seconds, and then something completely different the next. Until I'm not sure what I think anymore. It just becomes a mess.
Lack of self-identity. Drifter, frequently lost in my own world/thoughts. Sometimes feels out of place, usually too often for own liking. Hopelessly blur. Klutz. Awkward. Confused. Wary.
Me?
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Shaun's bbq yesterday was awesome. His dad makes very delicious stingray! And the fondue satisfied my daily chocolate cravings. When I think about it, I probably don't go a day without eating at least a tiny amount of chocolate.
We watched American History X, Fight Club, and Eurotrip. In between movies, we played a little bit of Need For Speed, GTA: San Andreas, Fatal Frame II, and a wrestling game where players whack each other and become "Blazin'". This lasted until we went home at 3 am. Hehe.
In short, movies + video games + great food + KCC = Good Times! =D
Ice skating tomorrow. I see myself with flailing arms, crashing into the sides of the rink and occasionally falling when I completely lose balance. But that's part of the fun!
My birthday's in THREE days. Somehow I don't feel all that excited. I should be, right?
Ahhh I dunno.
We watched American History X, Fight Club, and Eurotrip. In between movies, we played a little bit of Need For Speed, GTA: San Andreas, Fatal Frame II, and a wrestling game where players whack each other and become "Blazin'". This lasted until we went home at 3 am. Hehe.
In short, movies + video games + great food + KCC = Good Times! =D
Ice skating tomorrow. I see myself with flailing arms, crashing into the sides of the rink and occasionally falling when I completely lose balance. But that's part of the fun!
My birthday's in THREE days. Somehow I don't feel all that excited. I should be, right?
Ahhh I dunno.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
| You Should Learn French |
 C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs. You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up... |
| Cheese Pizza |
 Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others. |
| Your Superhero Profile |
 Your Superhero Name is The Cosmic Wasp Your Superpower is X-Ray Vision Your Weakness is Body odors Your Weapon is Your Atomic Club Your Mode of Transportation is Space Shuttle |
| Your Hawaiian Name is: |
 |
| Your Band Name is: |
 |
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
I caught up with old friends today. Waffles in the afternoon with Fariz, who I haven't seen since....a month ago. Best friends since primary 1. Now that I think about it, it's actually been more than 10 years since primary 1. Where's the time gone? I miss the old days of playing police and thief, crocodile and other games during recess, of being carefree without worrying what others think about you. It was so much simpler.
So we talked about Poly life. I love mine so far. The mass commies just click together well. After four years of feeling outcasted, I finally feel like I actually belong somewhere. I do miss the little group of friends that I stuck with throughout secondary school though. But there was a mini reunion today =)
Dinner with Kenneth and Ili. Our third member! We took neoprints. Hehe. And we followed our little tradition of wandering aimlessly for almost half an hour before deciding where to eat, and then walking a big round to get there. It almost felt like old times, except we weren't in school uniform. During dinner, we caught up on each other's lives and realised we go through similar things. There have been times when I feel like my life's almost perfect. On the other hand, there are times I feel like the biggest loser in the world, like I can't do anything right. Times I feel like all eyes are on me, watching and waiting for me to screw up, and I usually do. Times I feel like nobody cares. Times I miss someone I shouldn't because they probably don't miss me.
But tonight, just like in secondary school, we supported each other through our worries and insecurities knowing we weren't alone.
And that was great.
So we talked about Poly life. I love mine so far. The mass commies just click together well. After four years of feeling outcasted, I finally feel like I actually belong somewhere. I do miss the little group of friends that I stuck with throughout secondary school though. But there was a mini reunion today =)
Dinner with Kenneth and Ili. Our third member! We took neoprints. Hehe. And we followed our little tradition of wandering aimlessly for almost half an hour before deciding where to eat, and then walking a big round to get there. It almost felt like old times, except we weren't in school uniform. During dinner, we caught up on each other's lives and realised we go through similar things. There have been times when I feel like my life's almost perfect. On the other hand, there are times I feel like the biggest loser in the world, like I can't do anything right. Times I feel like all eyes are on me, watching and waiting for me to screw up, and I usually do. Times I feel like nobody cares. Times I miss someone I shouldn't because they probably don't miss me.
But tonight, just like in secondary school, we supported each other through our worries and insecurities knowing we weren't alone.
And that was great.
As of today, the 2 months break has officially started.
Pearlyn and I handed up our radio assignment with great relief!
A group of us had laksa for dinner at holland V. Yummy. Conversation included Power Rangers, Captain Planet, video games, and Bareknuckle III. I wonder whether my Sega Genesis still works. Something tells me it doesn't, since I haven't touched it for a few years. I miss playing Bareknuckle!!!
Had a rhumba and more nonsense in starbucks. Although not everyone found certain things funny. Sigh. It's my fault.
I'm sorry.
The whole day was good, but now I feel like total crap. I'm gonna go to bed. Waffles with Fariz tomorrow afternoon. An almost fool-proof chance of cheering me up.
Pearlyn and I handed up our radio assignment with great relief!
A group of us had laksa for dinner at holland V. Yummy. Conversation included Power Rangers, Captain Planet, video games, and Bareknuckle III. I wonder whether my Sega Genesis still works. Something tells me it doesn't, since I haven't touched it for a few years. I miss playing Bareknuckle!!!
Had a rhumba and more nonsense in starbucks. Although not everyone found certain things funny. Sigh. It's my fault.
I'm sorry.
The whole day was good, but now I feel like total crap. I'm gonna go to bed. Waffles with Fariz tomorrow afternoon. An almost fool-proof chance of cheering me up.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Love this song.
The Postal Service - Nothing Better
Will someone please call a surgeon who can
crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
that you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over: I will block the door
like a goalie tending the net in the third quarter
of a tied-game of rivalry
So just say how to make it right
and I swear I'll do my best to comply
Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
then making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel I must interject here, you're getting carried away,
feeling sorry for youself
with these revisions and gaps in history.
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling I love you so...
Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that I have made mistakes and I swear
I'll never wrong you again
you've got a lure I can't deny,
but you've had your chance so say goodbye
The Postal Service - Nothing Better
Will someone please call a surgeon who can
crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
that you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over: I will block the door
like a goalie tending the net in the third quarter
of a tied-game of rivalry
So just say how to make it right
and I swear I'll do my best to comply
Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
then making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel I must interject here, you're getting carried away,
feeling sorry for youself
with these revisions and gaps in history.
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling I love you so...
Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that I have made mistakes and I swear
I'll never wrong you again
you've got a lure I can't deny,
but you've had your chance so say goodbye
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