Conflict is most definitely not my area of expertise. Do I just watch everything gradually fall apart?





I need hugs.

I want to see more LOTR in LocVid.
Kenneth loves the way Kokkee speaks.
Kenneth doesn't like the way Afiq is looking at him.
Afiq doesn't look at Kenneth.
DONT BLUFF. LIAR!
Cherylene's post is becoming a message board.
Shut up Cherylene
Back at ya, Kenneth.
Who's Kenneth?
That guy with the loud red and black specs.
I don't like Afiq. He makes me cry. sobs.
Kenneth's specs got music? someone said it was loud. who's kenneth?
Never mind! Richard's laptop has low battery.
Afiq is a potential DJ.
NONSENSE. Okay. bye

Ultimate Survey (377 questions long)
time started:	10.25 pm
full name:	Chan Shu Fen Cherylene
nickname(s):	Cherry/Cher/Cherie (rarely called this)
birthday:	27/09/1988
where were you born:	Thomson Medical Centre, S'pore
zodiac sign:	Libra
height:	Hmm...about 158 cm the last time i was measured
weight:	42 - 43 kg
hair color:	Black
eye color:	Dark brown
shoe size:	5 or 6
ring size:	i have no idea...probably small
skin type (freckles, tan, albino, etc.):	Pale, and I never seem to turn red. I think I have strange skin.
blood type:	Never checked this.
grade:	MCM Year 1 :D
GPA:	3.1905
siblings:	One elder bro, 27 years old
tattoos:	None
piercings:	One on each ear
hobbies:	Watching movies, listening to music, reading, dancing around my room, net surfing, Sims playing, hanging out with buddies, being my usual dorky self.
favorite
color:	Blue, purple, black. Sometimes changes with my mood.
food:	Pasta
candy:	Snickers. Does chocolate count?
type of cheese:	Mozzarella.
pizza topping:	Pepperoni.
salad dressing:	Thousand island
sandwich:	I don't think I have a favourite for this one. Haha.
cereal:	Koko Krunch! Yes I'm still a kid.
fruit:	Apples and grapes.
vegetable:	I eat vegetables because if I don't, I'll feel guilty.
berry:	Strawberry. Cranberry in juice form.
cake:	Chocolate!!! And oreo cheesecake.
book:	I'll read almost anything.
movie:	LOTR. Edward Scissorhands. Ack it's hard to choose...talk to me and I'll list them.
magazine:	Seventeen and Cleo. I buy both every month.
newspaper:	Straits Times? Hahaha.
tv show:	The Simpsons. Again, talk to me and I'll list them. Or read my friendster profile. Hehe.
website:	None in particular...
radio station:	I rarely listen to the radio these days. It used to be perfect 10.
font:	Never thought about it.
cartoon character:	Snoopy, and most dysfunctional simpsons characters. Spongebob? Lol.
artist (painter):	Um...
actor:	Elijah Wood...don't laugh!
actress:	Reese Witherspoon
cd:	Out of the few I have, probably Something Corporate's Leaving Through The Window.
song:	Varies from time. Right now it's Death Cab For Cutie's A Movie Script Ending,Something Corporate's Konstantine, and Smashing Pumpkin's 1979. Ask me and I'll list more.
music group:	Something Corporate, Death Cab For Cutie, My Chemical Romance....ask me for more.
music type:	Rock, alternative, emo or whatever it is you call it. As long as it's not techno/chinese, I'm fine with it. Haha
day of the week:	Saturday
month:	September and December
season:	Summer
holiday:	Christmas
shampoo:	Organics
conditioner:	Organics
number:	5 and 7
phrase:	umm...umm..."Ashes on my tomatoes!" "Fool of a took!" Sorry, those were the first two that came to mind since I was thinking of tomorrow's marathon.
store:	Body Shop
weather:	Fair and breezy
restaurant:	I seem to go to Pizza Hut the most often.
channel:	Star World, Disney, HBO, Star Movies, MTV
teacher:	The ones in charge of ELDDS when I was around
weekend activity:	Going out
hangout:	Lately it's Starbucks, Coffee bean, and wherever else we can sit and talk.
house color:	I'd paint my room blue
sport to watch:	Ehhh...I don't watch sports. The occasional soccer with my dad if I'm really bored.
sport to play:	Haha see above. Ok, maybe floorball and soccer, but I rarely play those. And I most probably suck.
animal:	Dogs. Kangaroos. The dancing cow emoticon.
flower:	Daisies and Sunflowers.
guy's name:	Err...I haven't really thought of it. Josh?
girl's name:	Haha, for some reason I like Fleur. And Anna.
board game:	Scrabble and the old Game of Life. I used to play these with my bro.
party game:	Twister!
story from childhood:	Out of the fairytales, probably Snow White. I like peter pan now.
body part:	Eyes and arms.
have you ever
been on a train:	Yes
been on a plane:	Yes
been in a car accident:	No
caused a car accident:	No
run into a wall:	Does a pillar count? It's a wall but not as long. I walked into a lamp post too.
burned a potato chip:	No
almost burned the house down:	No
smoked:	No
been drunk:	Nope...I've drunk, but not enough to get drunk.
been high:	No
broken the law:	I think so...
burned a cd (if yes, the one above is yes):	No
kissed someone of the opposite sex:	Um, ask me in person.
kissed someone of the same sex:	No.
frenched an animal:	No!!!
made out:	No.
had cyber sex:	No.
gotten engaged:	Nope...too young.
had an online relationship:	No.
been rejected by a crush:	Yes. Every time.
loved:	Yes
made yourself cry to get out of trouble:	Nope
cried in public:	Yes...on quite a few occasions
cried over a movie:	Yeah
fallen asleep in a movie theater:	Nope
given someone a bath:	I helped bathe my cousin when she was little
been to a boarding school:	Nope
been home-schooled:	Nope
lost a valuable item:	Yes
bungee jumped:	Nope
skied:	Nope
met the president:	Nope. He actually came to my grandaunt's funeral, but I wasn't there. My grandmother shook hands with him though.
met a celebrity:	Yes
gotten a cavity:	Yeah
shopped at abercrombie & fitch:	Not yet
made a prank call:	No, but I watched someone make one.
skipped school:	Yes
faked sick to get out of school:	Yes
purchased something that you knew didn't fit:	Yeah
climbed a tree:	I didn't get far...haha.
fallen from a tree:	Nope.
broken a bone:	Nope.
sprained anything:	Yes.
passed out:	I almost did in church once.
made yourself pass out:	Nope.
been to disney world:	No...I've been to Disneyland California instead.
been to a theme park (not disney):	Yes.
said i love you and meant it (not to a relative):	Yes
made a model volcano (working model):	Nope
made a clover leaf with your tounge:	No
past
what did you do yesterday:	What DID I do yesterday?
memory you miss the most:	Confirmation, my cousin visiting singapore, disneyland. Being a kid.
memory you want to forget:	I think I've already fogotten most of them. Haha.
something you regretted after it was done:	Not speaking up.
the last
song you heard:	The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
cd you bought:	My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge
thing you said:	"Okay."
time you cried:	A week ago
movie seen in a theater:	Corpse Bride
thing you ate:	Coleslaw. Hahaha
person who called:	My brother
nail polish shade worn:	Light pearly blue.
time you showered:	In the morning. Showering again soon.
person who complimented you:	Um... I think it was my mom.
at this moment
what are you listening to:	The June Spirit - Prologue.
what are you wearing:	Pink tee, red flowery shorts.
what are you thinking:	"LOTR! WOOOHOO!"
what are you scared of most:	Probably death.
how many people are on your buddy list:	139
future
occupation:	Not totally sure yet. Hopefully a journalist or an actress.
marriage site:	I always imagined it at St Andrew's Cathedral...
honeymoon:	Venice or Paris
place to live:	A roomy apartment, or a house.
kids:	I'm not sure. Haha. 2 or 3?
car:	I'll leave it up to my husband to decide.
what are you doing tomorrow:	LOTR marathon!!!! =D
do you think george bush will be reelected:	I hope not.
will there be a wwIII:	As much as I hate the thought of it, I think there will be.
will politics ever be truthful:	No
will humanity snuff itself out:	I have a feeling we will.
can the gov. be changed:	No
friends
best friend:	Kenneth, Ili and Fariz
funniest:	Haha I can't choose! Most of them.
silliest:	Um...Ok I can't decide this either
loudest:	Almost everyone.
quietest:	Me?
craziest:	We all have a large share of nutty moments.
calmest:	I'm not sure...
skinniest:	Kenneth.
best secret keeper:	Ili and Kenneth
worst secret keeper:	Fariz. I'm so sorry dude!
the one you have but don't want:	None
smartest:	Ammar
preppiest:	...Swapna?
peppiest:	:
most hyper:	Pearlyn in arm-flailing mode, hehe!
hottest:	Um...I might tell if you personally ask me
weirdest:	Fariz
biggest pervert:	LOL....Heikal
most annyoing:	Kenneth
shyest:	Hmm...probably me. Or Ili.
most religious:	Gosh, I don't know.
do you believe in
heaven:	Yes.
hell:	Yes.
angels:	Yes.
devil:	Yes.
god:	Yes.
buddha:	No.
aliens:	No.
ghosts:	Yes
spirit (soul):	Yes
soulmates:	Yes, but my belief in this has weakened over time
reincarnation:	No.
love at first sight:	No.
karma:	No.
love in general:	Yes
luck:	At times
yourself:	I need to more
crush
who and when was your first crush:	Kindergarten
any now:	Again, I might tell you if you ask personally
a celebrity crush:	No big ones at the moment
who do you want to be with right now:	No comment.
whos number do you want:	None that I can think of now
who do you want to kiss:	*zip*
what is something you dont understand about the opposite sex:	Why so many of them give me the impression that they only care for physical attraction
if you could go on a date with anybody, who would it be:	Not saying here
on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you:	Haha, I haven't tested this out yet. 7?
first thing noticed about the opposite sex:	Eyes, smile, hair
what do you look for personality-wise:	Sense of humour, sincerity, intellect...a lot of other things...haha
biggest turn on:	I'm not sure...
biggest turn off:	Hmm...bad english. Lol. B.O is also gross.
something thay weat that turns you on:	As long as it fits well
something they wear that turns you off:	tapered pants
the most romantic thing you want to happen to you:	I'll let you know.
the most romantic thing that has happened to you:	Hasn't happened. Haha.
what do you wear on a coffee date:	Probably jeans and a nice top.
is it right to flirt if you're taken:	Gah, I don't know. I guess it depends on how serious the relationship is.
is cyber cheating:	Yes
are eyes the passegeway to the soul:	Sometimes
who would you like to take to the prom:	If I don't have a boyfriend then, probably one of my friends. I remember Brad saying he'd go in the spiffy suit if I ask him. Hahaha.
do you want to hug somebody right now:	Yes
do you know what an aphrodisiac is:	Yes
describe
mellow:	soft
melancholy:	sad and listless
the perfect date:	Good conversation, laughter....as long as we click well
the perfect mate:	I don't think I can describe this yet
how m&m's are made:	*blank stare* They dip the chocolates in a candy coating? Whatever it is, m&ms are good.
why manhole covers are round:	Because manholes are round.
one or the other
coke/pepsi:	Coke
sprite/7-up:	I can't tell the difference
boxers/briefs:	Does it matter? Lol...
gold/silver:	Silver
vanilla/chocolate:	Chocolate
flowers/candy:	Flowers
book/magazine:	Depends on my mood
tv/radio:	TV
glass half empty/half full:	half full
democrat/republican:	Democrat
colored pencils/markers:	Colour pencils. Markers seep through paper
coffee/tea:	Coffee
sun/moon:	Sun
day/night:	Day
hot/cold:	Cold
dog/cat:	Dog
button/zipper:	Zipper
cotton/feather pillow:	I haven't felt a feather pillow, so cotton.
blue/purple:	Depends on mood
plumber/trashman:	*Blink* Plumber? Probably smells less.
jeans/shorts:	Jeans
long distance relationship/none:	None
mechanical/regular pencil:	Mechanical
matt/ben:	Matt
that 70's show/simpsons:	Aargh! I can't pick!
kelso/eric:	Kelso's funnier, but Eric has the nicer personality.
donna/jackie:	Donna
bart/lisa:	Bart
romeo/juliet:	Eh? Juliet
romantic comedy/thriller:	Depends on my mood.
nsync/bsb:	Why did you have to ask this? Ok then, Nsync.
peanut butter/jelly:	Peanut butter
waffles/pancakes:	Waffles for a snack, pancakes breakfast.
letter/email:	Letter
florida/california:	California
pizza/burgers:	Pizza
hat/visor:	Hat
football/rugby:	Err...neither? :P
iceskating/blading:	Ice skating
movie at home/in theater:	Theater
first thing you think of when you hear
yellow:	Sun
red lipstick:	Gwen Stefani
socks:	Socks.
cowtipping:	Say what?
moulin rouge:	Nicole Kidman and Ewan Mcgregor
greenland:	It's actually not green!
iceland:	It's actually not ice! Hahaha
harry potter:	Harry potter with scar and wand
red:	Blood
blackberry:	A gadget
rose:	Red
rooster:	The comb thingy on it's head
taxes:	Argh!
bill clinton:	Monica Lewinsky
whipped cream:	May's party
george w. bush:	Dubbya
lollipops:	Chupa chups
dreams:	Weird
love:	How little I know about it
guys:	My guy friends
south park:	Kenny
boy bands:	History.
pengiuns:	a whole group of them just standing there in the ice
girls:	My girl friends
thong:	A thong.
death:	Funeral
spoons:	A spoon.
junk mail:	Irritating
dairy:	Cow.
panties:	Panties.
your father:	My dad
pizza:	Yummy!
britney spears:	Kevin Federline
vitamin:	Fruits and veggies
are you
happy:	Yes.
sad:	Not right now
religious:	Somewhat
bitchy:	At times
crazy:	Yes
messy:	Kind of
mad:	Nope
slacker:	Sometimes
nerd:	I think so
bookworm:	Depends
jock:	No.
preppy:	No.
selfish:	Sometimes...
giving:	If I can
obsessive:	Not recently. I used to be obessessed over LOTR.
violent:	Not very.
calm:	Sometimes
peaceful:	Most of the time
mellow:	Yes
eccentric:	I don't think so...
caring:	Yeah
untrustworthy:	I'm a little wary about some things.
loyal:	Yes
patriotic:	On national day...haha
perverted:	Am I?
colorful:	Sometimes
artistic:	I don't think so
miscellanoues
what color is your jacket:	White.
do you shave:	Yes.
where:	You don't need to know! Lol.
what color is your razor:	Blue
what size is your bed:	Queen-sized
what color crayon would you be:	Purple
what are the last four digits of you phone number:	1072
feelings on abortion:	I'm against it, unless it's a very extreme situation.
how lond does it take you to shower:	15 mins
what does your screenname mean:	It's my name, and some random lyrics.
thoughts on blonde pop stars in general:	They're fine.
who so you trust the most:	My family and close friends
is cussing a necessity in life:	No
how about coffee:	No
is the world screwed:	Yes
what something you cant live without:	My computer, handphone and loved ones.
what time did you fall asleep:	Very late.
know what 69 means:	Yes
how about 143:	Nope..
can you live without a microwave:	Yes
what do think about death:	I fear it
where and when do you want to be married:	Probably in Singapore, in my 20s?
do you want to drop out of school:	No
why is the sky blue:	Something about the atmosphere, and the wavelength of light.
what is a good trait about yourself:	I'm easily amused. Is that good?
what do you always think about:	Life in general.
what is wrong with your school:	I don't have any problems with it.
what is right with your school:	The atmosphere and the friends! =D
how do you react to change:	I try to adjust as quickly as possible
do you talk to yourself:	No.
what is your opinion on love:	Hard to come across.
can you afford to lose weight:	No.
what color would you dye your hair:	If I could, I'd dye it red. But I don't think I can pull it off. Haha.
best thing anyones told you:	Be yourself
what is your reaction to someone telling you you're hot:	Depends. I'll usually just say "thank you", or look embarrassed, or laugh nervously. I'll wonder why the person said it.
does being psycho appeal to you:	No
if you wrote a book, what would it be about:	My mom's life, because it's pretty interesting.
what would you change your name to:	I wouldn't, because I don't think anything else would fit.
longest crush lasted how long:	2 years.
tme finished:	2.41am
Take this survey Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

A testimony of my boredom - it's 3 am and I'm recording myself singing songs from animated films and musicals just to see what I sound like to those around me. Well, I managed to find out my voice has seemingly remained unchanged from when I was what, four? Any higher and I'd be elmo.

La la la la, la la la la, elmo's song...doo doo doo...

Note to self: shut up.

I foresee myself being embarrassingly overdressed at the party tomorrow. Argh.

I had no idea Death Cab For Cutie's new album was out! But there it was in HMV today. I think it's cheaper than Transatlanticism, their previous album. That, if I remember correctly, was going for 40 bucks.

I was going to follow Shaun and the rest to look at guitars, but decided to join Steph, Soong, Richard and Paul for lunch instead. My stomach would've probably started a rebellion if I didn't. We sat at the food court for ages just chatting. When we eventually moved off, we did a little window shopping. Soong bought yummy jam biscuits from Marks & Spencers. We hung out a little more until Soong went to work, then all of us split. Did a little book browsing before Kenneth called me to go to Bugis so he could eat Long John Silvers. Dinnered and went home.

May's party is on Thursday and I still haven't gotten round to finding something to wear! =S
Decisions, decisions. Gonna try searching for an outfit tomorrow. Although since it's 1 am now, tomorrow's technically today. Ideas on what to look for, anyone?

I haven't bought anything new since August. Ok, list of stuff to buy:
- A few tops
- skirt
- new eyeliner
- black nail polish
- bag (Needing to get one for ages. I've had the little black bag since I was 12!)
- Optional: more lip gloss =P
- new heels?

I wonder what the plan for Thursday is.

Breakfast at mac's tomorrow with Kenneth. It's been a long time since I had a greasy fast food breakfast. The egg mcmuffin is usually my poison.

Semester grades are out.

IS........................................................ B+

IAC..................................................... C

Radio.................................................. C+

SocPsy................................................ B

Speech Comm..................................... B+

Writ Comm......................................... A+

I'm back from watching corpse bride! Absolutely loved it. The animation and artwork is stunning. Another good movie from Tim Burton. Woohoo!

While I did think Victor and Victoria suited each other, I felt sorry for the corpse bride being left alone...twice. But these things happen. They do.

Watching a movie alone was a fresh change. I didn't mind it, although it was hard to give my ticket to the guy while juggling the nachos and a huge drink. I think I soaked up the movie more because there was nobody for me to turn and talk to.


Now to find Nightmare Before Christmas.

I'd blog more, but I don't know what to write. It's not that I don't have anything to write, it's just that my thoughts are almost perpetually in a big jumble. I could think of one thing for a few seconds, and then something completely different the next. Until I'm not sure what I think anymore. It just becomes a mess.

Lack of self-identity. Drifter, frequently lost in my own world/thoughts. Sometimes feels out of place, usually too often for own liking. Hopelessly blur. Klutz. Awkward. Confused. Wary.



Me?

I just feel a little....void.

Shaun's bbq yesterday was awesome. His dad makes very delicious stingray! And the fondue satisfied my daily chocolate cravings. When I think about it, I probably don't go a day without eating at least a tiny amount of chocolate.

We watched American History X, Fight Club, and Eurotrip. In between movies, we played a little bit of Need For Speed, GTA: San Andreas, Fatal Frame II, and a wrestling game where players whack each other and become "Blazin'". This lasted until we went home at 3 am. Hehe.

In short, movies + video games + great food + KCC = Good Times! =D

Ice skating tomorrow. I see myself with flailing arms, crashing into the sides of the rink and occasionally falling when I completely lose balance. But that's part of the fun!



My birthday's in THREE days. Somehow I don't feel all that excited. I should be, right?
Ahhh I dunno.

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs. You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Cosmic Wasp Your Superpower is X-Ray Vision Your Weakness is Body odors Your Weapon is Your Atomic Club Your Mode of Transportation is Space Shuttle

What's your Superhero Name?

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Kai Mily

What's your Hawaiian Name?

Your Band Name is:

The Furry Suburbanites

Band Name Generator

The new MCR video for "Ghost of You" is out! See here.

I thought I'd be over it by now, but I'm not. =(

I caught up with old friends today. Waffles in the afternoon with Fariz, who I haven't seen since....a month ago. Best friends since primary 1. Now that I think about it, it's actually been more than 10 years since primary 1. Where's the time gone? I miss the old days of playing police and thief, crocodile and other games during recess, of being carefree without worrying what others think about you. It was so much simpler.

So we talked about Poly life. I love mine so far. The mass commies just click together well. After four years of feeling outcasted, I finally feel like I actually belong somewhere. I do miss the little group of friends that I stuck with throughout secondary school though. But there was a mini reunion today =)

Dinner with Kenneth and Ili. Our third member! We took neoprints. Hehe. And we followed our little tradition of wandering aimlessly for almost half an hour before deciding where to eat, and then walking a big round to get there. It almost felt like old times, except we weren't in school uniform. During dinner, we caught up on each other's lives and realised we go through similar things. There have been times when I feel like my life's almost perfect. On the other hand, there are times I feel like the biggest loser in the world, like I can't do anything right. Times I feel like all eyes are on me, watching and waiting for me to screw up, and I usually do. Times I feel like nobody cares. Times I miss someone I shouldn't because they probably don't miss me.


But tonight, just like in secondary school, we supported each other through our worries and insecurities knowing we weren't alone.

And that was great.

As of today, the 2 months break has officially started.

Pearlyn and I handed up our radio assignment with great relief!

A group of us had laksa for dinner at holland V. Yummy. Conversation included Power Rangers, Captain Planet, video games, and Bareknuckle III. I wonder whether my Sega Genesis still works. Something tells me it doesn't, since I haven't touched it for a few years. I miss playing Bareknuckle!!!

Had a rhumba and more nonsense in starbucks. Although not everyone found certain things funny. Sigh. It's my fault.



I'm sorry.

The whole day was good, but now I feel like total crap. I'm gonna go to bed. Waffles with Fariz tomorrow afternoon. An almost fool-proof chance of cheering me up.

Love this song.



The Postal Service - Nothing Better

Will someone please call a surgeon who can
crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
that you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over: I will block the door
like a goalie tending the net in the third quarter
of a tied-game of rivalry
So just say how to make it right
and I swear I'll do my best to comply
Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
then making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel I must interject here, you're getting carried away,
feeling sorry for youself
with these revisions and gaps in history.
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling I love you so...
Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that I have made mistakes and I swear
I'll never wrong you again
you've got a lure I can't deny,
but you've had your chance so say goodbye

That last post wasn't me, it's Paul using my laptop, going to blogger and posting because I don't log out. Heh.

Hello! I am sitting in the cafe at the library, wasting time. Isn't it sad? I have a cute water bottle that looks like a baby's milk bottle.

I just ate a hot dog and drank a cup of grapefruit milk tea. Isn't that strange? Grapefruit milk tea?

Anyway I am looking at Paul's songs on iTunes. If you are wondering who Paul is, he is some cool guy with a cool Apple Powerbook.

Ahh Writcomm and Radio to do till end of semester.